One Battle After Another vs. Sinners. That’s what this race comes down to. Despite recent signals pointing to Sinners having a real chance to win, I have to stick with my gut here. One Battle was the best movie I saw this year, last year, and maybe the year before. Sinners was spectacular and a thrill ride, and while also deserving, this is One Battle’s year.
Order
10. F1
A pretty fun time at the movies. Good for F1.
9. Begonia
I need to watch this again. Once you know the twist, I’m sure the movie hits very differently.
8. Frankenstein
I want to see Jacob Elordi in a real role.
7. Hamnet
The ending sequence was incredible, while the rest was a mix of sadness, sleepiness, and trees.
6. The Secret Agent
Wagner Moura is cooking in this one. Maybe not the payoff people wanted, but well done nonetheless.
5. Train Dreams
Makes me miss my time out west. As Conan says, there’s not much to say about this movie.
4. Sentimental Value
Like the name suggests, this movie tugs on sentimentality, nostalgia, and family/self reckoning. If it wasn’t for the top of this field, this ensemble would have had the best collective performance of the year.
3. Marty Supreme
Timmy doing his thang.
2. Sinners
Coogles and Michael B. Jordan don’t miss, and this one was the biggest (original IP) yet.
1. One Battle After Another
C’mon. From the moment you see Leo watching Battle of Algiers, the next 30 minutes is some of the best stuff you’ll see in a movie. That doesn’t even count the climatic car chase through the hills. Saw this twice in theaters and still didn’t have enough of it.
Hello again! It’s been almost a year since Menshawl Movies has made a post, but that can largely be attributed to an internal strike that was settled after months of back and forth between the CEO of Menshawls and the Founder. Now that I’m all on the same page, it’s time for this years Best Picture gimmick!
Last year I did a bracket that included hypothetical matchups between the movies. The exercise was fun, but this year, while still honoring the bracket, I’ll switch things up a bit. Knowing how much it sucks to be at an Oscars Party without knowing anything about the movies nominated, I decided to summarize the movies (INCLUDING SPOILERS) into bullet points so you can impress your friends. First, here’s the bracket with who I think is going to win:
In a wide open field, and based on the other award shows, I think the three movies with a legitimate chance to win are Anora, The Brutalist, and Conclave. Part of me waffled between The Brutalist and Anora, but I think the AI controversy with The Brutalist, and the long run time will point more towards Anora. A movie like this typically doesn’t win Best Picture, but this year anything can happen.
Here are the Best Picture nominees in descending order based on my personal favorites. The bracket was who I think will win, this is how much I enjoyed the movies. Nominations are only the Big 5 other categories (Director, Actress, Actor, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress).
10. Emilia Perez
Why it’s 10th
Couldn’t decide between this and The Substance for 10th, but if I had to rewatch one, I’d rather watch Demi and Margaret cook than the terrible songs of Emila Perez.
Things to know
A movie about Mexico made in France by French people.
Drug Lord decides to fake death, abandon family, and transition genders. After transitioning, Drug Lord tries to make up for their crimes while also desiring to reunite with family. Zoe Saldana plays a lawyer who helps with this process and gets more entangled in it than she expected or wanted.
Actress in a Leading Role (Karla Sofia Gascon), Actress in a Supporting Role (Zoe Saldana), and Director (Jacques Audiard).
9. The Substance
Why it’s 9th
I get the message of this movie, it beats you over the head and down the spine with it. The plot is also too predictable to make the messaging connect.
Things to know
Movies like this (body horror) are almost never nominated for Best Picture.
Demi Moore plays Elisabeth Sparkle, a fitness icon who is starting to face the harsh realities of aging. To counter this, she learns of The Substance (roll credits) which is a drug that allows for a younger, more perfect version of you to literally climb out of your spine. The catch is you have to switch back to your other self every 7 days. Addiction and deception ensue.
Margaret Qualley plays the version born out of Demi Moore’s spine.
Demi Moore’s character exhibits remarkable surgical skills.
A friends review “Blood and butts”.
Nominations
Actress in a Leading Role (Demi Moore) and Director (Coralie Fargeat).
8. Wicked
Why it’s 8th
I don’t hate musicals, I actually enjoy them! Unlike other high school theater nerds, I just never connected with Wicked. Didn’t love the CGI nor the non musical dialogue (Worst example: You’re green….I am.)
Things to know
Cynthia Erivo is an incredible singer.
Jeff Goldbloom is the Wizard Oz, and unsurprisingly isn’t as wonderful as he first seems.
Ariana Grande’s “Good” witch is a superficial bully who only befriends Erivo’s character after Erivo does her a solid.
Many many many CGI flying monkeys are spawned in this movie.
Nominations
Actress in a Leading Role (Cynthia Erivo) and Actress in a Supporting Role (Ariana Grande).
7. I’m Still Here
Why it’s 7th
A very heartbreaking movie, that while well done, doesn’t invite the desire to rewatch anytime soon.
Things to know
Based on the true story of Rubens Paiva’s arrest/torture by military forces in Brazil in the early 1970’s. Movie follows his wife juggling the immediate threat to her and their kids, as well as the fallout of Rubens disappearance.
Captures the innocence of childhood immediately juxtaposed against the harsh realities of adulthood.
Makes you want to visit Brazil and then not want to visit Brazil.
Nominations
Actress in a Leading Role (Fernanda Torres).
6. A Complete Unknown
Why it’s 6th
I’ve been tired of music biopics since the turn of the decade, but there is something magical about Chalamet inhabiting Bob Dylan (in a non-Substance way).
Things to know
Follows a young Bob Dylan’s meteoric rise and culminates in the 1975 Newport Folk Festival. Also about relationship with Joan Baez.
Timothee Chalamet did all of the singing, guitar playing, and harmonica playing in this movie.
Edward Norton plays Pete Seeger who becomes a mentor for a young Bob Dylan.
Actor in a Leading Role (Timothee Chalamet), Actress in a Supporting Role (Monica Barbaro), Actor in a Supporting Role (Edward Norton), and Director (James Mangold).
5.The Brutalist
Why it’s 5th
This one fluctuated the most for me, but always was in my top 5. Good score, great visuals, and incredible performances.
Things to know
Adrien Brody plays a Jewish-Hungarian immigrant who comes to America looking to escape persecution in Europe. His architectural talents are soon displayed and then manipulated in pursuit of the American Dream.
People complain about movies over 3 hours long, yet they binge a season of their favorite show in one sitting. Plus, the intermission halfway through gives ample time for a potty/snack break.
Shot in Vista Vision.
There is a controversial sexual assault scene in the second half which proved divisive amongst critics.
Nominations
Actor in a Leading Role (Adrien Brody), Actor in a Supporting Role (Guy Pearce), and Director (Brady Corbet).
4. Conclave
Why it’s 4th
Just your classic rip-roaring high brow drama!
Things to know
Ralph Fiennes’s character is tasked with leading the conclave (roll credits) to select a new Pope after the passing of the previous Pope. This process becomes ensnared in controversies, cancel culture, and a twist ending.
Stanley Tucci cooks in this movie.
Picking a new Pope seems very stressful.
Some beautiful cinematography in this film.
Nominations
Best Actor (Ralph Fiennes) and Actress in a Supporting Role (Isabella Rossellini)
3. Nickel Boys
Why it’s 3rd
A super unique way to shoot a movie, which makes the horrific events in the movie even more felt.
Things to know
A young black man in the Jim Crow south (played by Ethan Herisse) is wrongfully sent to a notorious correctional facility for young boys. He befriends a fellow inmate, is submitted to abuse, and then attempts to escape with his friend.
Shot almost entirely from a first person perspective. You don’t see the main character until the perspective flips a while into the film.
Jumps between the events of the 60s and present day.
Nominations
None.
2. Anora
Why it’s 2nd
This movie absolutely roars from the midway point on. It’s a drama packed ride.
Things to know
A stripper (Mikey Madison) becomes entangled/in love with a Russian oligarchs shithead son, whom she marries in Vegas, only for the Russian family to attempt to get the marriage nullified.
Much like Poor Things a year ago, there is a lot of sexual content, so don’t watch with your parents (unless they’re into that).
Once the shithead son abandons Anora, and the Russians have to find him is when the movie really takes off.
Also is about wealth and how quickly life can change.
Nominations
Actress in a Leading Role (Mikey Madison), Actor in a Supporting Role (Yura Borisov), and Director (Sean Baker).
1. Dune II
Why it’s 1st
Because Chalamet is the Lisan Al Gaib!!!
Things to know
After the events of Dune 1, Paul (Timothee Chalamet) must deal with the burden of being deemed the messiah while also enacting revenge on the Harkonnen.
My favorite scene at the movie theater this year was Timmy riding the worm.
The Harkonnen arena scene is batshit awesome.
Javier Bardem is hilarious in this movie.
Zendaya better get her revenge for how Paul did her dirty (I realize I’m inconsistent with character names vs. actor names but when talking to friends at an Oscars party, you just say Zendaya).
Dev Patel’s Monkey Man hit theaters last weekend, and if you haven’t seen it, you should. There. That’s the review. If that wasn’t convincing enough, this exercise takes from 50 Cent’s classic 21 Questions to answer whether you should watch it. 21 is an (checks math) odd number, which means for you to want to see this movie, you’d need to answer yes to 11 of the following. If you’re going to see it anyway and don’t want some plot spoiled, than stop reading. If you’re continuing with the questions and answer 11 or more yes, then you should stop what or who you’re doing, and go to your nearest theater to see Monkey Man.
21 Questions:
Do you like high-intensity cleverly shot action sequences?
Do you like underground bare knuckle fighting (that doesn’t feature Post Malone)?
Do you like when a protagonist has sworn revenge on someone and will stop at nothing to enact said revenge?
The Academy Awards are this weekend! For movie people like me, it’s one of my favorite events. I don’t care about the red carpet or anything leading up to the show, but I’ve been a devout Oscars watcher since I first got control of the remote (with four siblings, it was later than average). This year’s Best Picture race is great for two reasons:
It’s one of the deepest fields in recent memory.
It’s the first year I’ve dedicated to watching all ten!
Now you may be thinking, of course he thinks that the field is deeper because he’s watched all ten. I would counter with maybe I’ve watched all ten because the field is deeper. Either way, everyone makes Oscars picks and in a year that’s expected to go chalk, I decided to make a Menshawl Best Picture Bracket, presented by Menshawls.
Seeding was determined by the selection committee, whose whereabouts are kept under a protective shawl of anonymity. Similar to the college basketball tournament, there was an initial (not first) four which consisted of the four lower seeds duking it out. Scoring is completely arbitrary and only meant to show how close I think each contest would be. Let’s do this.
Initial Four
7. Barbie vs. 10. Maestro
Maestro snuck into the field with a late run in their conference tournament (aka Bradley Cooper’s press tour). My theory on Maestro is it would have benefited from a theatrical run instead of Netflix. Think about it, if Maestro came out only in theaters, would you have seen it? Putting it on Netflix over the holidays was just asking for non-movie buffs to watch it. “Oh I loved A Star is Born” your uncle probably said before pressing play on Maestro. If it had been in theaters and only people seeking it out saw it, I think the discourse would have been much more positive. Anyway, there’s no way it’s beating the behemoth that was Barbie. Final Score: Barbie 103-Maestro 81
8. Anatomy of a Fall vs. 9. Past Lives
For context, I watched Anatomy of a Fall at home today (two days before Oscars) and Past Lives on a plane four months ago. As a movie-theater lover, I’m sad I saw neither on the big screen, but you could argue these are the two nominees best suited for the small screen. Anatomy of a Fall is a courtroom whodunit drama that delves into the psychological aspects of how a partnership can devolve with career success (or lack thereof) and how the only child fits in. Very well written and performed, which can also be said about Past Lives. Past Lives is a very subtle movie about relationships that a lot of people can relate to. I don’t think it’s the masterpiece some make it out to be, nor the film school overachievers label others have given it. Regardless, Past Lives wins in a doozy. Final Score: Past Lives 83-Anatomy of a Fall 80
Best Picture Round 2
4. Killers of the Flower Moon vs. 5. American Fiction
If you didn’t see Killers of the Flower Moon because it was “too long” then you probably shouldn’t be reading articles like this. Scorsese’s latest film is a masterclass of using powerful imagery and subtle yet powerful performances to tell a horrific piece of American history. American Fiction is a very cleverly written movie that uses it’s writing and strong (about damn time) lead performance by Jeffrey Wright. One points out atrocities committed not that long ago while the other points out social issues that still prevail today. I thought both of these films were excellent. Final Score: Killers of the Flower Moon 95-American Fiction 91 (Yes these scores are much higher than college basketball scores but don’t worry about it)
3. The Zone of Interest vs. 6. The Holdovers
Let’s start with the six seed here, Alexander Payne’s retro film The Holdovers. Filmed with a 70’s aesthetic and powered by likely Best Supporting Actress Da’Vine Joy Randolph and Best Actor nominee Paul Giamatti, this slice of life movie is a cozy delight. My main qualm is if you set your movie to be in a 70’s style, that needs to include the dialogue, which I felt was a bit 21st century watered down in terms of its bite. The Zone of Interest, which you probably haven’t seen, is the slowest burn of all of this year’s contenders. I left the theater shook, and drove home in silence. Slowly, what I had just seen starting to un-peel itself in my mind. This movie is deeply unsettling, but so powerfully shot and sound-edited that I do believe it has an outside shot at Best Picture. This is not a date night movie, nor a re-watchable, but it is masterfully done and just as important as ever. Final Score: The Zone of Interest 77-The Holdovers 70
1. Oppenheimer vs 7 Barbie
The matchup everyone was anticipating since the bracket came out 20 minutes ago. You may be wondering where the bracket is (it’s at the bottom but it’s filled out), and to that I say be patient. The Barbenheimer phenomenon was awesome for not only Warner Bro’s but also for movie goers. Who knows when and if something like that will happen again. Barbie is important in pointing out societal flaws with mens’ hubris, and it was funny how upset some people (men) got. However, Oppenheimer may be Christopher Nolan’s masterpiece (which is saying something) and merited a second theater go for me. Final Score Oppenheimer 101-Barbie 90
2. Poor Things vs 9 Past Lives
Could Past Lives pull of the biggest upset of the tourney here? No. Poor Things is the funniest movie of all the nominees this year. Yes it’s very sexually explicit, but I think it addresses some of the same societal issues as Barbie, but a little less on the nose. Emma Stone is great, (although I’m pro Lily Gladstone Best Actress) Willem Dafoe is really going for it, and I actually liked a Mark Ruffalo performance. The subtleties of Past Lives stand no chance. Final Score: Poor Things 99-Past Lives 78
Best Picture Round 3: The Almost Final Foursome
1. Oppenheimer vs 4. Killers of the Flower Moon
This one is tough, but once you make it to the Almost Final Foursome, that’s just reality. Both of these are historic epics with loaded casts (better cameo: Brenden Fraser in KOTFM or Josh Peck in Oppenheimer?) and Oscar-worthy performances. However, Oppenheimer landed the plane just a little bit better in terms of making it all come together. KOTFM took a chance by telling the story from the perspective of the villains and used a powerful but critically divisive Scorsese cameo to stand in for pre-credit title cards. These are two titans of movies, but Oppenheimer surivves a scare. Final Score: Oppenheimer 103-KOTFM 101; 2OT.
2. Poor Things vs. 3. The Zone of Interest
Two radically different movies with radically different stakes. One leaves you laughing, the other leaves you crying. Poor Things shows you everything while The Zone of Interest doesn’t show you the other side of the wall. That’s where The Zone of Interest hits the hardest, in what you don’t see. You can hear it though, it’s right next door. My vote for most powerful shot in a movie this year goes to the scene in Zone where the commandant’s family is enjoying a pool party in front of their green house. The frame begins to fill with smoke up top as a train pulls into Auschwitz next door.
Final Score: Zone of Interest 70-Poor Things 64
The Best Picture Final: Oppenheimer vs. The Zone of Interest
I love that I complained about this Oscar’s being chalk and proceeded to go completely chalk with my picks. I guess that’s what happens when the people seeding are also the people writing! It all comes down to two World War II era movies. Since Oppenheimer came out last summer, there has been more time that usual for the public at large to nitpick a Best Picture favorite. However, pound for pound, this movie is very deserving. Ludwig Göransson’s captivating score holds all of Nolan’s jump cutting in place. While The Zone of Interest may be the most important film of the year, Oppenheimer checks all the boxes of a Best Picture winner. Chalk can be boring, but chalk can also be deserving.
Ethan Coen’s first mainstream film without his brother is now out in theaters, Drive-Away Dolls. I will quickly review it before getting into how it should be seen. If you don’t want spoilers, just skip the following paragraph.
Drive-Away Dolls has the classic Coen dialogue, Coen quick edits, and Coen gags, but something is missing. Despite great lead performances from Margaret Qualley and Geraldine Viswanathan, the quirky plot of this movie falls flat. Celebrity appearances from Pedro Pascal and Matt Damon are cute, but don’t add much humph. Much will be made of the sexual nature and open sexuality of Drive-Away Dolls, but to me that’s all fine; the main issue is story arch. The leads bring a great energy, Bill Camp is great in his couple of scenes, but the plot is pretty generic and there is never a moment of true suspense or even triumph. Matt Damon getting shot over a briefcase of dildos? That sounds better than it actually is.
Ok, now that that half-assed review part is over, it’s time for the main entree. The Menshawl Movie Watchability Index (MMWI) is a scientific way to break down whether or not you should see a movie. This Index was created in our labs to justify whether or not a movie is…watchable, and if so, with whom?
Since our human internet minds are conditioned to think in terms of 5 star ratings, this scale can achieve 5 stars. However, a 5 star movie does not mean 5 stars in the common use of 5 stars. For example, critically, Poor Things may be a 4 or 5 star movie, but it would definitely not score 5 on this scale. Why? This scale is for you to determine, if you’re going to go see this movie, should I go alone or should I ask that girl out at the gym to go?
Here is the scale:
Would I watch this movie…
On a first date.
With my mom.
With the “boys/girls”.
With my boys/girls.
Alone.
Please keep in mind this scale can be adjusted for the “girls” or the girls, but you get the point. You may think this sounds like some studio marketing scale to try to make a movie for everyone. It’s not. A one star watchability movie could be a great movie. It could also be Fifty Shades of Grey (Although you could argue whether going alone or with the “boys” would be appropriate for that film). Conversely, a 5 star movie might check all the boxes, but just be a pretty-good movie (think Lego Movie). Actually, you’re right, using stars is confusing. Let’s switch to monocles instead. That makes more sense.
On a first date. Um….probably not. This one is a bit too sexually liberating for a first date. Now, if your date suggests it, sure go for it, but pull the “going in blind” line. If you say you’ve heard this movie is really cool and take a first date to it…there probably won’t be a second date. Unless of course your date is a mature adult who is comfortable with sex scenes, but if you’re an average American young adult, then probably not. No.
With my mom. Recently I suggested my mom go see Poor Things. I highly enjoyed that movie and thought she would appreciate the humor. Shortly before she went, she mentioned bringing my sister along. It was too late. I felt bad that my sister had to watch brothel sex scenes with our mom. But then again, I didn’t feel bad because Poor Things is great and people should see it. That being said, I would not willingly take my mom to Drive Away Dolls. No.
With the “boys/girls”. A group of puberty driven dudes seeing this movie would be funny to see, but ultimately a no. A group of women seeing it? Possibly yes. I won’t speculate but I would speculate that was the target audience for this. Especially women’s soccer teams. Yes.
With my boys/girls. This means kids. I don’t actually have kids as of this writing (that I’m aware of), but I think parents would appreciate this rating. The answer is a resounding NO (the only case I would make for this one is if you were that dad from Poor Things who took his sons to the brothel to learn about sex, then this movie might have a case. How many times am I going to mention Poor Things in an article not about Poor Things? Also, how long can a parenthesis go?) No.
Alone. Alone is the trickiest category because really this depends on your tastes and your confidence. I for one love going to movies alone and I saw this one alone (Alexa play Lonely by Akon). The best part about writing about movies is I can say I’m a critic. So if anyone in the theater judges me for watching 90 minutes of high impact sexual action, I can say it’s my job. (Movie critics are similar to photographers. Anyone with a nice camera or local movie theater can do it! God I love unnecessary parenthesis!) This movie I think actually benefited from me seeing it alone, saving me from generic “I didn’t get it” conversations with others. Yes.
Final tally: 2 Monocles-That makes this a glasses movie (what that means is TBD).
So if you’re thinking about seeing Drive-Away Dolls, now you know who to go with, enjoy!
Shawl. After spending 15 months abroad, I experienced a wide variety of fashion. While 14 of those 15 months were in the fashion hub that is Winnipeg, Manitoba, the remaining month was spent in India, Mongolia, Venice, Siberia, and then Moldova.
While staying in those countries I realized something was lacking: shawls. Shawls for men. Menshawls. Now, what is a shawl? That is a question I asked many people in my travels. Unfortunately the people I asked didn’t know English well and could not answer. However, I found the answer, the true shawlution.
Father of the shawl
A shawl is hope. A shawl is comfort. A shawl is freedom. A shawl is integrity. A shawl is the future. A shawl is knowledge. A shawl is you. You are a shawl.
Menshawls, that’s right, Menshawls, is not for the cautious. Millions of shoulders go cold every year out of fear. Fear of standing out. Fear of defeat. Warm shoulders do not mean defeat. Warm, comfortable shoulders mean victory. Sweet, warm, luscious, victory. If you think you are too “cool” to wear a shawl at work, then maybe having a job isn’t right for you. If you think shawls aren’t manly, then maybe being manly realistic for you.
I learned much in my travels. I also learned little. I learned that a shawl, or shawls, can be the difference between hope and despair. I saw a little boy’s life saved in Ulanbaatar by a shawl. Well, a shawl was loosely involved at least. Has a scarf ever saved a life? No. Want to fact check that? Don’t bother.
After returning home from my road trip, a thought occurred to me. Later that day, it reoccured to me. That night, it occurred to me again. Shawl is an acronym.
S-Shawl H-Hope A-Aspiration W-Wool L-Love
That’s what a shawl truly is. What is a shawl to you?
The Menshawl mission is to promote menshawl awareness. Menshawls.com, that’s right, Menshawls.com, or Menshawls dot com, is changing the shawl game for good. Menshawls.com believes in organic wool, locally sourced from around the world. Menshawls.com. Shawls have long been looked at as a one gender fashion commodity, but menshawls.com, that’s menshawls.com looks to change that. Menshawls.com is your place for menshawls.
34 Fridays ago, I was eating some Beluga Caviar with a glass of Pierre Garcon ’08 when I realized my shoulders were cold. It ruined everything. The caviar, the expensive vintage wine, possibly my marriage. I need a shawlution. That’s when I came up with the idea for Menshawls.
Menshawls, or Menshawls.com, is revolutionizing men’s casual/business attire. Whether at the office, at a gala, at a sporting event, or at a funeral, Menshawls.com has everything you need.
One wasted dinner turned into Menshawls.com, the website that is disrupting the fashion industry once and for all.
